letters to laura daley.

ok laura daley.
here it comes.
but first let me tell you what happened this morning. and take note that i was not at all drunk last night, so you could imagine the dumbfounded nature of me when this occurred. so around 9 am my sister calls, which wakes me up...she reminds me that we never got our parents anything. oops. so whatever, i was like "well i'm up now" to myself and i pick up my computer. i open it up, to find a giganatic split open penis on the screen. umm, ok. "how did this get there?" i wonder. obviously a little worried about what i was doing last night when i got home. maybe maggie leaving made me want to research split open dicks? no, it didn't. so i look closer to realize that this is occurring on wikipedia, which is my homepage. weird. so i click away to another page, then come back to see if it's still there, and it is!! someone played a nasty joke on the wikipedia people! yes! i enjoyed. a christmas miracle.
so anyway, the whole peeing on my coat thing. well, friday was a long day to say the least. did my normal work day, and from work we went to billy goat and then to the hawks game. put some canadians in their place, then proceeded back to beverly to see friends that are in town. how cute. well, they were all fairly drunk by the time i got there, and they're all buying rounds. i was drinking blue moon, which of course comes in those absurd glasses. thus everytime they would finish a beer, i would only be halfway or so (i drink slow) yet they would buy me one anyway. so basically, i was struggling since i rarely drink beer. in any case, i wasn't that drunk, but drunk enough to be drunk. when i got home, i had to piss sooooo bad. so i did. while taking said piss, i went to scratch my nose as i had an itch, and in the process my coat, which is quite long, intercepted the urine flow from it's destination of the toilet, and took a fair doucheing from my urine. so i laughed, because what else can you do about something that dumb, really? so i cleaned the coat, and went to bed.

i think i'm going to keep writing you for the rest of time, and post it to my "blog." you are my new diary.